The dawn of a new reality


Did you all like that one post I put up this summer?  It was awesome, wasn't it? Yeah...

Well, I did write many more of them in my head, usually at 2 am, but obviously none of them made it into the computer.  I even took photos specifically for blog posts, and then sort of shuddered at the thought of opening Photoshop and ran outside.  And that is where I spent pretty much every day this summer - outside (see photos above)!  With the boys, of course, and family either Out East or Out West - and yes I realize that my life is kind of ridiculous, and I am spoiled absolutely rotten.  I thought I would throw together a few of the look-how-awesome-my-summer was shots into one big clump to get them out of the way. :)

My comeuppance has come this week, as both boys start full days at school.  Suddenly I am none too fond of Mr. McGuinty and his full-day kindergarten (the very thing I was crossing my fingers for when I was a working mom paying for childcare).  It's like the end of the most glorious, happy, unbelievably-amazing vacation - a two-year vacation at that.

Two years of being at my kids' every beck and call, of crafting, colouring, drawing, breaking up fights, kissing owies, twisting the chicken timer on the time-out spot, and developing an amazing respect for the phenomenon called 'quiet'.

Two years of days at the park (feeling incredibly guilty as I facebooked and instagrammed my brains out), listening to toy cars discuss red lights versus green lights, denying TV, and then binging on 10 episodes of Max and Ruby (usually with a chaser of Caillou).

Two years of tantrums at the grocery store, book store, cafe, halfway to the park, halfway to the car, in the car, outside the car, upstairs, downstairs, and especially on the time-out spot - many of them thrown by yours truly.  Two years of spontaneous hugs, puzzles, stories, bike rides and snuggles.

You get the idea.  It only hit me last week that days like these will now be confined to two months in the summer, if they still want to hang out with me that is.  For the rest of the year I will have to make due with those fun hours around dinner and weekends, like regular folks.  It was a tough realization to come to terms with, but being grateful for those two years really, actually (Cam's favourite word) did help.  There some sobbing, gulping-for-air tears (all mine) last week to be sure.

But this week things seem to be shaking into some sort of new reality.  I am trying to take it easy on myself and not demand that I find a job STAT (which is how I feel).  I am happy to report that I am still gunning to do interior design, I will keep up with the marketing consulting, and the encaustic project is still a go.

So there you have it, my life in a nutshell.  I am sure you really didn't need to read it, but for some reason I needed to write it!  I seem to have been putting off blogging until I had all this stuff squared away, and now I hereby give myself permission to get back into it. :)

6 comments:

  1. such a great summer post. Glad you totally got that special time. Those memories will totally carry you for years. onto a new phase now....

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  2. beautifully written! I have one in 1/2 day kindergarten and 1 in 2 day preschool. life still feels crazy but I have moments of time to write. I know next year if they are both in school all day it is going to feel really, really strange. But I admit I'm going to like a bit of solitude.

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  3. Fantastic post! Had me in tears (are you surprised?). Made me feel a little guilty about wanting to be a stay at home mom now that both my kids are in school full day! ;) Lisa, whatever you decide to do, you'll be a star and people will always be the better for having known you. I know I am. Let's get together soon!

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  4. What is with summers that they just zip by so fast. YOu went out east and out west. Wow - lucky girl. Do tell.

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  5. You are one lucky mother to be able to spend 2 years with your boys full time...I know it was not always easy. I envy you, even if I am not the most patient person in the world and like my job a lot recently I have been having this burning desire to stay home with the kids, walk them to school/daycare, walk to them the park, play date, after school class...Now enjoy the "quite" and the good memories.

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  6. Thanks you Shadi, I know there are many, many people out there (and not just moms) who would have loved to be able to do what I did. I certainly don't take it for granted - and I could not have done it without my wonderful husband, and our *very* supportive parents! We considered it an 'investment' in our family, and it has already paid off, for me at least.


    There were of course many moments (and I mean MANY) when I wished I could kiss them goodbye and hand them over to someone ELSE for the day. And so many times when I longed for a Project, with Benchmarks, and Reports, and all that fun stuff. Or impromptu brainstorming sessions. Or watching a campaign really WORK! Not to mention all the fun people I used to work with.


    But you just can't have it all. So I am doing my best to concentrate of finding the best in what I've got at the moment, which right now, is some solid computer time! :)

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