Calgary-Ho!

I have not been on here for a while, and here is my excuse:  Somewhere towards the end of February, out of the blue, my husband got offered his dream job in Calgary... starting the beginning of April.  From that point on, life became a blur of packing, storage, moving companies, agents, listings, open houses, de-cluttering, and even a quick jaunt to Calgary to look at houses.  Any spare time was spent on the internet flicking between mls, google earth, and the calgary school board school finder page.  Entirely too much wine and coffee was consumed.

Last night we sold my beloved house, the subject of so much of this blog.

It actually felt kind of nice to "stage" my house for sale - I felt quite proud of the photos and virtual tour, and was happy to pack up a lot of the chaos to let the house shine.  Sure, maintaining clear surfaces was a pain, but it was lovely to sit in the evenings with my bottles of wine and think "I did this!"  I made this warm and cozy space.

The downside is that, despite my efforts polishing bathroom fixtures, filling in the nicks in my painted bathrooms floor with a Sharpie, hauling my toaster oven out to the trunk of the car every morning, and scrubbing every handprint from the walls, we received but one offer.  Happily, it was for our asking price, but somehow the hype of the Toronto real estate market had me secretly hoping for more.  With all the press around multiple offers and bidding wars, scarcity of product and rabid buyers, it was generally assumed that for a house like ours, in the neighbourhood we are in, people would be lining up at the door.  I know that sounds like hubris, but this message was reiterated and reinforced over and over from friends, agents, and armchair analysts.  Day in and day out, the real estate sections of the papers crowed about the seller's market, the unstoppable prices, the results that exceeded everyone's expectations.

So when we had one agent quietly submit the offer last night, I felt relief to have received our asking price, relief that this big component of our process was finished, and relief that we could bring the toaster oven back in permanently.  I even felt really happy for the nervous couple that were no doubt waiting outside in their car with their fingers crossed.  But I also felt a little... rejected.  So many views online, so many showings, such successful open houses, and one offer.  No one wanted my beautiful house.

Now, before you all start reassuring me that this wasn't the case, I have a beautiful house, I should feel proud (cause I know you guys are amazing and sweet and kind and will do that!), or chastising me for being so greedy, know that I consciously and rationally accept that it was not the house, it was the lack of parking.  Parking is a huge hairy deal around here, and that was the overwhelming feedback from the viewings.  Our neighbour, who has had his completely top-to-bottom renovated fancy house on the market since November, has been having the same frustration.  The other issue is that the school zone right next to ours is apparently the one everyone wants to get their kids into.  Plus there are a LOT of really beautiful houses around here.  So I am very very grateful to have had someone buy it at the price we were asking (which seemed huge).

All the same... it sort of stung.

HOWEVER, this morning I am feeling much more upbeat about the whole thing, and concentrating on the full-to-the-top glass and not the missing overflow!  Our house still sold in a week, for a very silly amount of money.  Three of these seven days we were all out of the house and didn't have to worry about wiping the fridge handle every time we closed it or camping out at the coffee shop while people toured the house.  I already have a large chunk of the packing done.  It was a quick and painless process, when it could have dragged on and on and on.  It is a huge financial relief, and we now know what our budget is for Calgary and that we can move forward on a house there without worrying about carrying two mortgages.  HOORAY!

Amazing what a good night's sleep can do for one's perspective. :)

Now everyone sing along with me:

The dawn of a new reality

Did you all like that one post I put up this summer?  It was awesome, wasn't it? Yeah...

Well, I did write many more of them in my head, usually at 2 am, but obviously none of them made it into the computer.  I even took photos specifically for blog posts, and then sort of shuddered at the thought of opening Photoshop and ran outside.  And that is where I spent pretty much every day this summer - outside (see photos above)!  With the boys, of course, and family either Out East or Out West - and yes I realize that my life is kind of ridiculous, and I am spoiled absolutely rotten.  I thought I would throw together a few of the look-how-awesome-my-summer was shots into one big clump to get them out of the way. :)

My comeuppance has come this week, as both boys start full days at school.  Suddenly I am none too fond of Mr. McGuinty and his full-day kindergarten (the very thing I was crossing my fingers for when I was a working mom paying for childcare).  It's like the end of the most glorious, happy, unbelievably-amazing vacation - a two-year vacation at that.

Two years of being at my kids' every beck and call, of crafting, colouring, drawing, breaking up fights, kissing owies, twisting the chicken timer on the time-out spot, and developing an amazing respect for the phenomenon called 'quiet'.

Two years of days at the park (feeling incredibly guilty as I facebooked and instagrammed my brains out), listening to toy cars discuss red lights versus green lights, denying TV, and then binging on 10 episodes of Max and Ruby (usually with a chaser of Caillou).

Two years of tantrums at the grocery store, book store, cafe, halfway to the park, halfway to the car, in the car, outside the car, upstairs, downstairs, and especially on the time-out spot - many of them thrown by yours truly.  Two years of spontaneous hugs, puzzles, stories, bike rides and snuggles.

You get the idea.  It only hit me last week that days like these will now be confined to two months in the summer, if they still want to hang out with me that is.  For the rest of the year I will have to make due with those fun hours around dinner and weekends, like regular folks.  It was a tough realization to come to terms with, but being grateful for those two years really, actually (Cam's favourite word) did help.  There some sobbing, gulping-for-air tears (all mine) last week to be sure.

But this week things seem to be shaking into some sort of new reality.  I am trying to take it easy on myself and not demand that I find a job STAT (which is how I feel).  I am happy to report that I am still gunning to do interior design, I will keep up with the marketing consulting, and the encaustic project is still a go.

So there you have it, my life in a nutshell.  I am sure you really didn't need to read it, but for some reason I needed to write it!  I seem to have been putting off blogging until I had all this stuff squared away, and now I hereby give myself permission to get back into it. :)

Strawberry-Picking in New Brunswick

I just returned from a month in New Brunswick and while I had the best of intentions of posting regular updates, I was too busy living them to even download them from my camera. These shots are from our first full day at Nana and Grampy's, at the very end of the strawberry-picking season.  We drove (and ferried) over to the Kingston Peninsula to see what was left at Bates Landing.  The berries were pretty picked-over, but the boys and Nana had fun, and I just soaked in the New Brunswick air and admired the view.  I also ate a few strawberries. :)

It was the perfect beginning to the perfect holiday. :)

Happy Father's Day... (better late than never?)

It's the thought that counts, right?  So, although I am a week behind in posting this, my thought is that I unknowingly married the best dad in the world - fun, funny, kind, loving, generous, present, and grateful.  I could not have mail ordered a better role model for my two boys.  If they grow up anything like their father, they are going to be simply amazing people (and I would put any amount of money on that one!).

The above photos are by the lovely and (obviously) talented Maegan Guerette, who did family portraits as a fundraiser for Cameron's nursery school.  Have I mentioned how much I love his nursery school?  I really do.  I am thinking of having another kid just so I can send them to this nursery school.  (Joke.)

We spent Father's Day camping for the first time since the boys were born, and I think we waited just the right amount of time, to be honest.  It was fun for everyone, everyone got sleep, and even though it poured rain during the night and we woke up, um, damp, I am calling it a Big Win.  I am so looking forward to doing more and would like to give a shout out to our co-camping support family the Haurilaks (check out Michelle's amazing blog).

So to all the dad's out there, including my awesomely creative and UNIQUE Dad and my wise and generous father-in-law, know that you are loved, and that your impact on our lives cannot be measured or understated.  Happy Belated Father's Day. xo

My soul-soothing escape from reality

Hello all, as you may have gleaned from my last post, I have been stressing more than just a bit lately.  Not really actively stressing mind you, rather ruminating - my mind chewing over what if's and to-do lists and schedules and such - in a constantly increasing and incessant way.  The timing could not have been more perfect for a trip to the Caribbean to visit my parents.  They built a house there years and years and years ago, but for some reason I have not made a point of going down.  I was too busy, it was too expensive, I couldn't afford the vacation time, yada yada yada.  

This year, as always, my mom said please come down.  I said yeah... maybe...., as I always do.  My Prince Charming of a husband, however, said this is nuts, you insane woman, and made it happen.  He booked the flights, took vacation from work to look after the boys, arranged a babysitter for the days he had to work and pretty much threw me on a plane.  All the while I was thinking what am I going to do down there?  What if I drive my parents nuts (and vice versa)?  I brought my computer to catch up on the all the work and projects that I needed to be doing, all the blog posts I haven't written, and of course my ongoing debate as to what to do with the rest of my life.

I did none of it.  I can hear you all saying "duh...!" but for some reason I did not foresee how AMAZING this week was going to be.  I am not going to go on and on about it because, well, I know how sick everyone is of winter, and, um,  I don't want you to hate me.  The major points: *first time away without the kids for so long, *first vacation by myself (i.e. without hubby) in about 15 years (this was also part of my reluctance to go - I love traveling with him) *first time hanging out with my parents by myself in around 20 years *being spoiled by my folks *warm sunshine *bright colours *green green green *warm sunshine *didn't make lunch or dinner once *rum and ginger ale on the porch *yoga and swimming *wonderful parents *warm sunshine...  OK, done.  No wait, there's photos:

So there you have it.  I honestly feel like a different person.  It really shook things up for me, although I didn't realize how much until I got home.  After the requisite grumpy back-to-winter blues, I feel great, calmer, less stressed, more centred.  I cannot thank Chris and my parents enough.

All of the "taxis" (i.e. mini-vans crammed with people) down there have slogans running across the top of their windshield, and the one I that stuck with me was "Too Blessed To Be Stressed."  Amen Mr. Taxi Driver, AMEN.

Thank you also to all of you who commented on my last post, and emailed me encouragement.  It meant the world, it really did.  I have been reading and re-reading them ever since.  I think I am starting to figure some things out, which I will of course share with you - cause that's what I do.  Blogging is kind of a strange beast, part confessional, part public diary, part scrapbook, part PR machine... but the community that comes with it, the feeling of connecting to people, is so strong and heartfelt it sometimes surprises and delights me.  MOOAH.

What the HELL do I do now?

*warning: long post with no pretty pictures*

When it comes to hobbies, I am not unlike a magpie chasing shiny objects.  Graphic design sounds like fun - I am going to sign up on Lynda.com and watch a million hours of video on how to lay out a magazine!  Photography is awesome - I am going to take a photoshop course and spend hours on the computer tweaking levels!  Interior Design has always been a passion - I am going to launch an online design business even though I have no training and little experience!  Then there's yoga (which at least I am consistent about), knitting, painting, reading, BLOGGING.... there are times when I get an hour to myself and am actually at a loss for where to start or what to do!

After quitting my (pretty awesome) job at the Symphony a year and a half ago, I have been really enjoying spending time with my kids.  Sure, there are some monumentally frustrating days, but generally it has been a crazy blessing to be able to tell myself "this is my job and I love it."  Read books with them, make them lunch, watch them play cars, break up fights, listen to them talking to each other, do crafts - the days fly by.  I have thrown myself into this time completely, grabbing these precious days with both hands and wringing out every sweet hug, funny face, and paint-covered high five.

Now, on the horizon, I can see the end coming.  An end, and of course a new beginning.  In September, both my boys will be in school full time (9 to 3).  This doesn't mean I don't get hugs and hang-out time anymore (God forbid!) but it will definitely be the dawn of the new era for us all.  It is only February and I have many more months of boy-time ahead of me, including those awesome summer months, but I feel like I should be preparing for my own reality now.

My sabbatical from Making Money (since it certainly isn't a break from WORK) has been fully supported and encouraged by my whole family - I definitely couldn't have done it without everyone's sign-off.  But a was conceived as a sabbatical, meaning eventually I would return to work away from the boys and start putting money back into the bank account.  Right now, I can't imagine going back to life the way it was; I am a different person than the girl who did marketing for the Symphony.  Ideally, I will be able to do something part-time, during the school hours, and still be able to walk the boys home from school.

But WHAT??!!??  I am pretty confident I know how start up a start-up.  I have read books, blogs, watched videos and am fully inspired to build a successful business.  After all, marketing was my line of work - I can direct-mail-social-media-conversion-rate-advertise-promotions the hell out of this business.  I can network-leverage-collaborate-media-SEO-customer-service with the best of them.  But first I have to figure out what the hell I will be selling!

In the past few months I have done logo work, website work, marketing consulting work, graphic design work and tried my hand at interior design.  The problem?  I loved ALL of it!  But I have to pick one thing and do it well, right?  So now I am feeling lost and directionless.  I feel like I have to pick one and get much better at it before I can launch a business and charge people money for it.  Right?  But as soon as I start with one, I am crippled with indecision and doubt - maybe this is the wrong one.  I should go back to that other one.

I really love interior design, but I have absolutely no confidence there.  People go to school for this, intern, apprentice, yada yada.  Who the hell am I to equate putting a mood board and layout together and thinking I'm a designer?  Graphic design is really fun and I think I could be really good at it.  But the learning curve on the programmes is STEEP guys, and there are so many graphic designers out there - would I even find work?  Marketing is where I feel confident, maybe I should stick with that and offer consulting for creatives?

Photo Credit Andrés Þór

Anyway, sorry to dump all this on you guys, but this lack of direction has somehow bled into my blog as well - what is my niche? what do I blog about? - and has kept me from posting for a bit.  I am hoping that this soul-dump will at least break through my writers block...

Cam's new "vintage" big boy room

Cam has been having sleep troubles lately (ergo, we have all been having sleep troubles lately). In an effort to entice him to stay in HIS bed, we pulled out the turned-wood bedframe I bought at an auction in New Brunswick. I had intended to paint the frame, but I actually like the worn walnut colour.  Of course this prompted some full-on decor strategizing, and before I knew it I had the boys watching Netflix and was opening a mostly-full can of the paint left over from the basement.

The bed required a new mattress, so I headed to Ikea.  While I was there...I realized we would need a new duvet, and why not this young-but-not-too-cutesy duvet cover?  It's a dangerous place, that Ikea.

Other than that, the room cost $0. All the big artworks on the north wall were feeling a bit too heavy for me, so I took them all down (except for Yara's of course!).  Suddenly I remembered these wooden figures were sitting in the garage, waiting for the perfect spot.  My neighbour had them out for a garage sale a few years ago (he's an antiques dealer) and when I asked about them he gave them to us.  I love the style of them - they look straight out of TinTin to me.  I have no idea what they were originally used for - they are all two-sided.

I flipped up the Expedit shelf, and got rid of the little dresser - meaning all Cam's clothes had to go in the baskets (the white dresser is actually full of my husband's clothes!).  The artwork is mostly the same - Chris insisted that the elephant stay - and I love this photo of Chris and his brother when they were little.  I grabbed these un-used curtains and although they aren't very 'kid's room', I like how they go with the grey and white furniture.  I have a bigger, more substantial curtain rod I would like to put in, but it didn't get done - YET!

So to recap, it went from this:

 to this:

 to this:

And I might be done.  For now. 

Happy New Year: a fresh beginning

Yes, I am a little late with my wishes, but I still hope you have a wonderful 2013!  It has been a slower start to the year here - my in-laws left for Alberta yesterday morning (they are driving with their dog) and we took the tree and decorations down.  Although I am always sad to see the Christmas tree come down, there is something so cathartic about packing it all up, vacuuming up all the needles and dusting all the little nooks and crannies that had been hiding under the garland.  In all the mass cleaning, I ended up moving all the furniture again, and replaced our tired-looking white rug with an old rug from my house in New Brunswick. Today, after taking my eldest to school, I came home to a clean uncluttered house and felt like the new year was finally underway, fresh and full of promise.

I have been reading all of the amazing resolutions on everyone's blogs and can feel the optimism for the new year. Usually I would have my own list, but for some reason it just doesn't seem appropriate for me this year. I am less inclined to set goals and more of a mind to be open to whatever life brings for a while.  Maybe it's laziness, maybe it's zen. :)  Whatever you call it, I am looking forward to seeing what 2013 has to offer!  I hope it holds wonderful things for all of you. xo

Glitter Card Production Line

I purchased a few holiday cards for the boys' classes, and never really got around to using them.  When I mentioned filling them out to William, he asked if we could make cards instead, like we did for Valentine's Day. Wullll, yeah!!!

I had a ton of glitter around that I had picked up during one of my many excursions to the Dollar Store, and of course a bazillion sheets of construction paper.  So we cut some little cards and I drew a few simple designs with glue.  Then the boys gently tapped quickly dumped the entire container of glitter on the glue and shook off the excess.  Thankfully I had the foresight to use some box tops to try to contain the glitter! Our little pot-scrapers also came in handy.  They kept at it for  quite a while and we had a real production line going before the glitter fights began... I think there will be glitter in our house until they leave for university - it is like living inside a disco ball.  (I sort of love it.)

Having done all the cards, and then allowing them to dry, William filled out approximately six before he had a melt-down and refused to do any more.  So for those of you with kids in his class who thought  his hand-writing looked like something his father might have done with his left hand... well, you get a gold star. :) Oh, and you are welcome for all the glitter we sent into your house.  Enjoy!

Merry Christmas Blog Buddies!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody!  I hope you were able to enjoy a few of those magical moments of quiet, surrounded by loved ones, feeling peace and joy.  xoxo.

Exposing my inner window geek

Hey guys, I wanted to let you know about my guest post for the Fieldstone Windows and Doors blog.  Our family gets pretty excited about building materials, so I ended sending them off more than they had probably bargained for - but that's what happens when you ask a Mackay to talk about windows and doors, am I right Mackays?  I focussed on the American Arts and Crafts style, so if you would like to read my essay post, head on over.

Weekend Update

Many of you have been asking for a basement report and I always oblige my dear readers.  These are photos of my basement on the 15th of November.  Should you photoshop out the heaters and fans, and add a lot of dust, you would have a completely accurate image of our basement as of tonight.  Did I mention that this is also our guest room and that my in-laws are arriving (with their beautiful white boxer Sunny) two weeks this Saturday?  Just checking to see if I had mentioned that...

Anyhoo...  Hopefully the nest two weeks will be FULL of basement reports!

Instead of worrying about our basement, we threw ourselves into family time this weekend.*  We had our last swimming lessons, made our way through Santa in the Junction (which was really fun) and went to see the Canadian Pacific holiday train.

The next day we all went to see Raffi, and the boys and I were so excited.  After the concert we went for dinner at the pub for a special end to a special weekend.  I wouldn't even trade it for a finished basement...

What about you - how was the first weekend of December?


*Actually, I threw myself into Mommy-Night-Out a little too forcefully on Friday night and felt the bruises thoughout family weekend...

The Steven and Chris Adventure

How did I suddenly end up showing my home on Steven and Chris?  That is a mighty fine question.  About a month and a half ago, I got an email out of the blue from their Senior Decor Producer (awesome job title BTW) asking if I would be willing to do a tour of my house for the show.  I responded enthusiastically (i.e. many exclamation marks were used).  There was no set timeline, so I got my butt in gear to finish off a few things, like the photo wall in the dining room.  Then suddenly, while I was at the ROM with my kids and visiting Mother-In-Law Diana, I got an email on my phone asking if maybe they could come the next day???    Wowzers.  I like to think I remained calm, but I have no doubt my mother-in-law would argue otherwise.

That evening I cleaned like a MOTHER... so many things were stuffed into drawers and closets that have yet to be re-discovered.  Then, as I checked my computer, thinking of everything I had left to do before they came, I realized that the next morning I had parent duty at Cam's nursery school until 11:30.  They were coming at 1.  Swear words were uttered.  To say I was a little distracted while setting up the kids' snack would be a bit of an understatement.  

Luckily, I got another email that morning saying that they would have to reschedule.  THANK YOU UNIVERSE.  By the time they came the following week, I even more time to stash away the clutter and 'style' my house (as in, I made my son's bed and put the toaster oven on the back porch).

I wish I had taken the opportunity to grab some good photos of the house that day, because Lord knows it will never, ever be that tidy again!  However, I was a busy bee for the 3 hours that the producer Barb was here, discussing wording, trying to remember the wording we discussed, fussing over every object in every room, doing voice-overs and on-camera takes.  They did the whole house, although the segment on my bedroom was cut and we discussed many, many more items than were shown!

After Barb left, the videographer Ved stayed for another 2, almost 3 hours taking shots of all the details in the house.  I think he did an amazing job.  The fabulous Diana was thankfully still in town and took the boys out for the entire afternoon (I have no idea where!).  There was no way I could have done this with them in the house - there is no way they could have been that quiet for that long!

Diana was a little surprised to see the cameras and equipment still here when they got back at 5pm.  The boys were great about not making a huge mess in the rooms Ved hadn't shot yet.  We asked him to shoot the kitchen first so that Diana could start making dinner (yummy knedliky!) before the boys lost their minds.  Below is may favourite shot of two professionals hard at work.

Then off they went, and I think before Ved had even finished pulling out of the driveway Cam had emptied a bucket of cars all over the living room floor and Will had an armload of trains dumped on the sofa.

Then Diana left, and my parents came, along with Chris's brother Dave.  (Did I mention that during this I also had William's birthday party - two days after the above scene - and Halloween, and had enjoyed visitors for about the last 5 or 6 weeks, starting a few days before my brother's wedding?)

The great news is that Mom was able to come to the studio with me to tape the "live" interview with Steven and Chris.  When I was in the green room, they asked if I thought she would mind being mic'ed as well - and I thought it best not to tell her in advance and make her freak out.  So just before the taping started, they gave a very shocked Barb Mackay her mic!

Photo courtesy of Flora Di Vetta

We had a lovely time and I was so glad she was there. It was really neat to see how they put the show together.  For example, the banana ice cream they showed at the end actually took about 15 minutes, and they were having a fit about it.  Also, the interview with the singer was done in front of a totally different audience, and we did not actually watch the entryway segment either!  Plus they actually asked me a few more questions, but I guess my nervous blathering responses needed to be cut in the interest of time. :)  But I am glad they kept the part with my mom - although she later confessed that she had no idea what they were meant when they asked her if she DIY'ed. :P  (She does by the way - she has recovered many chairs, sewed many curtains, and done more than her fair share of painting; I come by it naturally.)

So there you have it, my whirlwind adventure with fame.  It was a blast and I am hungry for more! They may have created a monster - I am crafting reality show pitches as I type. :)  WELCOME to anyone new who came from the show and actually read this whole thing - I would love for you to stick around!  And thanks to those of you who have read from the beginning - you are the wind beneath my wings. Don't worry, I won't forget the little people. :)